Below is a recent correspondence I had with a friend after seeing a poster in Morrisons.
Me: I am going to wear my red g string
Mate: I'm gonna eat a f*ckload of beetroot on Thursday, and do red poos all day Friday.
Me: I'd love to see the day in the interview cubicle when we had to prove to
our UKIP inquisitors that we really do wear red on Fridays.
Me: That would have been the new Union Jack if Scotland had've left.
by North Utsire