Lukasmarkt, Mayen

The Lukasmarkt in Mayen, Germany, is one of the most beloved and historic folk festivals in the Rhineland-Palatinate region. Every October, the usually quiet town of Mayen transforms into a bustling fairground filled with lights, music, and the scent of roasted almonds. The festival runs for nine days, taking over the city centre; particularly the Marktplatz, Bäckerstraße, Burgfrieden, and Boemundring; and in 2025 it will take place from the 11th to the 19th of October. With a tradition that dates back to 1405, when Archbishop Werner von Falkenstein moved three annual markets to coincide with the feast day of St. Luke the Evangelist, the event has deep roots in the town’s history. What began as a market for goods and livestock has evolved into a vibrant combination of funfair, marketplace, and cultural celebration, drawing between 250,000 and 300,000 visitors every year.

During the festival, Mayen becomes a lively maze of rides, food stands, and stalls selling everything from handmade crafts to household items. The fair features a “Krammarkt,” a daily goods market that stretches through the streets for all nine days. On Tuesday and Wednesday, these two main “market days,” the event reaches its peak, with over 200 traders setting up throughout the pedestrian zone. The fair also preserves its agricultural traditions with two important events: the horse market on Tuesday, held at the Viehmarktplatz on Polcher Straße, and the sheep market on Wednesday, the only one of its kind in all of Rhineland-Palatinate. Thursday is dedicated to families, offering reduced prices on many rides and attractions, while the final Sunday ends in a spectacular fireworks display launched near the historic Genovevaburg castle.

Visiting the Lukasmarkt is as much about atmosphere as it is about activities. The inner city’s medieval layout creates a charming setting for the festival’s modern amusements. Walking through the cobblestone streets, visitors encounter carousels, food stands selling bratwurst and sweets, and vendors calling out over the hum of laughter and music. Many of the rides and stands now accept card or mobile payments, but cash is still widely used. Families will find plenty to enjoy, especially on Family Day, though it’s worth remembering that the crowds and noise can be intense. Dogs are allowed but generally discouraged for that reason.

The city provides well-organized logistics for the influx of visitors. Special “Park & Ride” services operate on the Sundays and during the Tuesday horse market, with parking lots connected to the centre by shuttle buses. Regular parking areas such as the Viehmarktplatz are available on other days, though some are restricted during major market events. Visitors are encouraged to follow the city’s signage and use public transport when possible, as several streets are closed to cars during setup and operation of the fair.

Beyond the rides and markets, the Lukasmarkt captures the spirit of a living tradition. It is at once a modern Volksfest, complete with thrill rides and bright lights, and a centuries-old meeting place rooted in Mayen’s history as a market town. Locals see it as the highlight of the year; a time when the city comes alive with music, laughter, and community pride. For tourists, it offers a rare chance to experience an authentic German fair that still retains its historic soul. Whether you visit to shop, to enjoy the food and music, or simply to be part of the crowd under the autumn lights, the Lukasmarkt remains a celebration of both past and present, ending each year with fireworks over the castle that has watched over Mayen for centuries.

The Backfischbrötchen (battered fillet of fried fish in a bun), bier and pommes is highly recommended!

Waldsee Revisited

It was an evening made for remembering. The air was cool but soft, the kind that carries the scent of damp earth with a distant hint of pine without any chill. The sun had just begun its slow descent when we arrived at Waldsee Rieden, a small lake tucked between forested hills in the Eifel. It was our first wedding anniversary; twelve quiet, bright months that had passed in a blink; and we wanted to spend it somewhere still, somewhere that felt both remote and welcoming. And Waldsee is like an old friend. 

We started our walk as the last of the afternoon light slipped through the treetops. The path wound gently around the lake, the water glinting through the trees like a sheet of burnished glass. Every few minutes, the woods would open up to reveal another view: reflections of sky and forest rippling together, the faint sound of ducks across the water, the occasional rustle of leaves as a breeze stirred through the branches. It was peaceful in that rare, almost cinematic way; the kind of peace you don’t realize you’ve been missing until you stand in it. 

The meandering path curved around a small jetty where the lake shimmered with the last amber light of dusk. The air had grown cooler, and the silhouettes of the trees began to deepen into indigo. A few early stars blinked awake above the water. At the head of the lake we were greeted by the full splendour of the Beaver Supermoon, poking optimistically through the nick of the hills, inviting an early photograph. 

By the time we reached the far side of the lake, the lights of the Seehütte Restaurant were glowing warmly across the water. It looked like a postcard scene: soft golden light spilling from the windows, reflections trembling on the lake’s dark surface, the sound of walkers faintly drifting from the terrace. We crossed the small wooden bridge and stepped inside to the scent of herbs, roasted vegetables, and something faintly smoky. 

Dinner was a wonderfully indulgent celebration in the quiet of the restaurant. Riesling from the nearby Ahr valley beckoned, crisp and bright, perfectly chilled. After a light garlic bread starter, I had Hüttenpfanne served in a pan, with generous pork fillets, buttered spaetzle, creamed mushrooms, and hollandaise sauce and gratinated cheese. Every bite seemed to hold the earthy, honest essence of the place. This was accompanied by a locally brewed Eifelbrau Landbier, whose mellow malt and subtle hops made it the perfect companion to the Hüttenpfanne. 

Through the restaurant’s wide windows, the last of the daylight faded into the dark mirror of the lake. Candles flickered on the tables, their reflections dancing on the glass, and for a moment everything; the warmth of the room, the enthusiastic hum of nearby diners, the quiet rhythm of the water outside; felt perfectly poised under the guiding light of the rising moon. 

When dessert arrived; a monumental chocolate sundae with a stracciatella chaos of chocolate ice cream, with chocolate sauce and whipped cream. Pretty much that did for me, and I abandoned the notion of a rich Amaretto coffee and instead opted for a cleansing green tea to settle down any excess, content just to sit and watch the reflections move slowly across the water. 

As we finally stepped outside, the air was cool and scented with petrichor once more. The lake was utterly still, the Beaver Supermoon hanging low above it, silver light tracing the surface where we had walked just hours before. Hand in hand, we stood for a while in silence, listening to the gentle night sounds of the forest. There was no need for words; just the quiet certainty that this place, this evening, would linger with us long after we returned home. 

Our first anniversary wasn’t ostentatious. It was something better; simple, heartfelt, beautifully grounded. A walk through the woods, a meal by the water, and the comforting realisation that a loving marriage, much like the lake at dusk, grows ever deeper and more reflective with time. 

Here is the Seehütte website:

https://seehuette.de/speisekarte/  

And here is the menu in English: 

https://seehuette.de/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/Menu_Herbstsaison-2025-Eng.pdf 

Natural Deoderant Formula

This is without doubt the best thing I ever did for my arm pits. Using the proprietary deodorants I suffered all kinds of skin problems, including on occasion abscesses and eczema. They also made me cough and just feel generally yucky. Quite the opposite experience with this formula. Every poof of this aromatherapy blend leaves me as fresh and zesty as a minty forest glade. Using this is my single best advice to win friends and influence people. 

In 100ml Perfumer's Alcohol (denat):

30 drops Rosemary
30 drops Lavender
30 drops Frankincense
15 drops Lime
15 drops Cedarwood

These essential oils offer a variety of benefits when used in natural deodorants, each contributing its unique properties to help combat body odor and provide a fresh, pleasant scent. Here's a breakdown of how each oil is suited for this purpose:

Rosemary is an excellent choice for a natural deodorant. It has a fresh, herbal scent and is known for its antibacterial properties, which help to combat the bacteria responsible for body odor. Rosemary also promotes circulation and can help to reduce sweating, making it a great addition to deodorant formulations.

Lavender is another fantastic option for deodorants. Its calming floral scent is both soothing and refreshing, while its antimicrobial properties help to fight bacteria that cause odor. Lavender is also gentle on the skin, making it a good choice for those with sensitive skin, and it has a balancing effect, helping to regulate body odor without being overpowering.

Frankincense provides a rich, resinous aroma that can add a grounding and woody note to a deodorant. While it's not as potent as some other oils when it comes to antibacterial properties, frankincense still has mild antimicrobial and anti-inflammatory benefits, which can help to soothe the skin and reduce irritation. Its calming effect on the body can also contribute to a sense of well-being and balance.

Lime offers a crisp, citrusy scent that is both refreshing and energizing. Lime is known for its strong antibacterial properties, which make it effective in neutralizing body odor. It also has astringent qualities, which can help tighten pores and reduce excessive sweating. However, as with all citrus oils, lime can increase sensitivity to sunlight, so it's best to use it with caution, particularly on areas that may be exposed to the sun.

Cedarwood adds a deep, woody fragrance to deodorants and is valued for its grounding, calming properties. It has mild antibacterial properties, which can help reduce body odor, though it is not as powerful in this regard as some of the other oils. Cedarwood is also soothing for the skin and can help balance oil production, making it ideal for people with dry or sensitive skin.

In summary, all five of these essential oils can be effectively used in a natural deodorant. Rosemary, Lavender, Lime, and Cedarwood are particularly suited for their antibacterial and deodorizing properties, while Frankincense adds a calming, soothing touch. The combination of these oils can provide a well-rounded, pleasant-smelling natural deodorant that helps combat odor and promote fresh skin.

Natural Aromatherapy Rollerballs

I include a few super duper essential oil roller ball formulas which you may find useful. They tend to have great applicability to most conditions where a topical blend is required. I'll let you discover the full range of their uses experientially as you go. Its worth saying these are quite strong formulas so test them out on your skin before you plunge in. Also, these are effective medical formulas but don't expect them to smell as wholesome as some of the propriety blends, because the oils have been selected based on their appropriate indication and not their blend-ability if that makes sense. They're still great little helpers though. They have proved valuable to myself and others, and they make great gifts in 10ml amber roller ball bottles. Carrier oil: fractionated coconut oil.

Relax
Lavender, Clary Sage, Sweet Majoram, Clove Bud, Neroli (12 drops each in 50ml carrier oil).

This particular blend; Lavender; Clary Sage; Sweet Marjoram; Clove Bud; and Neroli; brings together a beautiful harmony of essential oils; each with its own distinct way of easing tension and encouraging relaxation. Used individually; each oil offers valuable support for the nervous system; but when combined; they create a synergy that’s far more potent than the sum of its parts.

Lavender is the obvious cornerstone of any relax blend. Renowned for its gentle sedative properties; it’s a go-to for calming the mind; relieving stress; and even helping to ease anxiety-driven physical symptoms; such as headaches or muscle tightness. Lavender doesn’t just calm the mind; it soothes the skin and supports gentle breathing; which is why it’s such a versatile oil in both emotional and physical relaxation.

Clary Sage works on a deeper; hormonal level; making it particularly useful if tension is linked to hormonal shifts; think PMS; menopause; or general hormonal imbalance. It has a unique euphoric quality; helping to lift mood while simultaneously grounding excess nervous energy. This makes it invaluable when stress or anxiety feels especially overwhelming or tangled up with emotional sensitivity.

Sweet Marjoram steps in with its warm; comforting nature. Often thought of as a "muscle oil;" marjoram is particularly good at easing physical tension; especially tight shoulders; neck tension; or tension headaches that stem from stress. It’s also traditionally associated with encouraging deep; restful sleep; which is why it’s such a perfect match for a formula designed to relax both body and mind.

Clove Bud might seem like an unusual choice in a relaxing blend; but it brings a subtle warming spice that helps improve circulation and ease aches and pains that arise from held tension. It also offers a sense of grounded comfort; like being wrapped in warmth; which can be especially helpful for people who feel "cold and tense" when they’re stressed.

Finally; Neroli adds a touch of elegance and emotional depth to the formula. Extracted from the delicate blossoms of the bitter orange tree; Neroli is deeply soothing for the heart and spirit; often recommended for anxiety; grief; and emotional overwhelm. Its aroma alone seems to slow the breath and invite a sense of safety and calm; making it particularly valuable when stress feels emotionally heavy or overwhelming.

Together; these oils form a well-rounded Relax formula that addresses stress on multiple levels; calming the nervous system; softening muscular tension; gently supporting hormonal balance; and offering emotional comfort. It’s suitable for anyone experiencing general stress; anxiety; tension headaches; sleep troubles; or emotional overwhelm. It can be used in a diffuser; diluted into a massage oil; added to a bath; or even applied to pulse points for moments of stress during the day.

Pain/ Muscular
Rosemary, Peppermint, Lavender, Ginger, Ravensara (12 drops each in 50ml carrier oil).

This particular blend brings together a powerful combination of essential oils; each offering its own contribution to easing muscular discomfort and relieving pain. Together; they form a well-rounded formula that works on multiple levels; from reducing inflammation and improving circulation to calming nerve pain and soothing muscle tension.

Rosemary is one of the most classic choices for muscular support. It’s a well-known circulatory stimulant; helping to bring fresh blood flow to tired or aching muscles; which supports healing and helps to flush away metabolic waste that can build up after exertion. It also has analgesic; pain-relieving; properties; making it particularly effective for general muscle soreness; stiffness; and even tension headaches caused by muscular tightness in the neck and shoulders. Its warming nature can be especially useful for chronic aches that feel better with heat.

Peppermint brings in an entirely different kind of relief; cooling; bracing; and slightly numbing. It’s particularly useful for sharp; acute pain and inflammation; thanks to its high menthol content. That cooling sensation helps to interrupt the pain signal; offering immediate relief; while its anti-inflammatory properties work to calm the underlying irritation. Peppermint is also wonderful for headaches that stem from muscular tension; especially when applied at the temples or the back of the neck.

Lavender offers a gentler; more nurturing type of pain relief. While often thought of for relaxation; lavender’s analgesic and anti-inflammatory properties make it surprisingly effective in pain blends. It’s particularly good for easing muscle spasms and for pain that’s linked to stress or tension. When the body holds onto emotional stress; it often shows up physically in tight shoulders; clenched jaws; or tension headaches; all of which lavender can help to soften.

Ginger brings warmth and deep circulation support; making it ideal for stubborn; chronic pain or deeply knotted muscles. It’s particularly helpful for pain made worse by cold weather or poor circulation. Ginger also has strong anti-inflammatory properties; which makes it a great choice for joint pain and inflammatory muscle conditions like arthritis; or for people who often feel "cold and stiff" in their muscles.

Ravensara rounds out the blend with a unique set of benefits. Sometimes confused with Ravintsara; Ravensara has a distinctive analgesic effect that’s particularly helpful for nerve pain; such as sciatica or postural tension radiating from the spine. It also has mild antispasmodic properties; making it helpful for muscle cramps or twitching; and it brings a sense of comfort and clearing that can help with emotional tension that often goes hand in hand with chronic pain.

Together; these oils form a formula that’s suitable for all kinds of muscular and pain-related issues; from post-workout soreness to tension headaches; from chronic stiffness to acute injury recovery. The warming oils; like ginger and rosemary; combine beautifully with the cooling power of peppermint; while lavender and ravensara work quietly in the background to ease spasms and soothe overworked nerves. It can be used in a massage oil; a muscle rub; a compress; or even diluted into a bath for a full-body soak after a tough day.

Respiratory/ Chest
Hyssop, Eucalyptus, Frankincense, Rosemary, Aniseed (12 drops each in 50ml carrier oil).

This particular blend weaves together a combination of essential oils that have long been cherished for their ability to support the lungs; ease breathing; and gently clear the chest. Each oil contributes something unique; whether it’s helping to open the airways; calm spasms; break up congestion; or simply offer a sense of clear-headedness when the breath feels restricted.

Hyssop is a fascinating and often overlooked essential oil when it comes to respiratory health. Its power lies in its versatility; it can ease spasmodic coughing; calm inflammation in the airways; and help shift stubborn mucus. It’s particularly valuable when a cough is lingering; or when tightness in the chest is linked to nervous tension or emotional holding; which is often the case after prolonged illness.

Eucalyptus needs little introduction when it comes to breathing support. Its crisp; penetrating aroma instantly clears the head and opens the sinuses; and its strong expectorant properties help to shift phlegm and mucus from the chest. It’s an essential oil that brings immediate relief when congestion is heavy or breathing feels laboured; and its antimicrobial qualities offer added support if the respiratory discomfort stems from infection.

Frankincense brings a gentler; deeper kind of support to the lungs. Its warm; resinous aroma is known for calming the breath itself; helping to deepen and slow breathing; which is particularly valuable when breathlessness is triggered by anxiety or stress. At the same time; frankincense has anti-inflammatory properties that can ease irritation in the respiratory tract; making it especially helpful for chronic conditions like asthma or bronchitis; where the airways are both irritated and constricted.

Rosemary; with its sharp; herbaceous scent; works a little differently. It acts as a circulatory stimulant; helping to improve blood flow to the lungs and chest area; which can encourage faster healing. Like eucalyptus; it also has expectorant properties; making it useful for productive coughs where mucus needs help moving out. And; as a bonus; rosemary’s uplifting aroma can bring an energising boost when fatigue or low spirits accompany respiratory illness.

Aniseed rounds out the blend with a unique aromatic sweetness; but its true power lies in its antispasmodic qualities. It’s particularly helpful for calming tight; cramp-like coughs; the kind that come in fits and leave the chest sore and the breath shallow. Aniseed also gently supports the digestive system; which may seem unrelated; but in traditional herbal practice; the lungs and digestion are seen as closely linked; especially when congestion is thick or stubborn.

Together; these oils create a respiratory formula that works on multiple levels; clearing mucus; calming spasms; easing inflammation; supporting deep breathing; and offering gentle antimicrobial action. It’s a blend that can be used for everything from colds and chest infections to asthma; seasonal allergies; or even that lingering tightness some people feel in their chest after stress or emotional overwhelm.

This formula could be inhaled via steam; diffused into a room; blended into a chest rub; or diluted into a massage oil applied across the upper back and chest. Its versatility makes it suitable for both acute flare-ups and more chronic; recurring respiratory issues.

Skin
Tea tree, Lavender, Chamomile, Yarrow, Geranium, Carrot Seed (10 drops each in 50ml carrier oil).

This blend brings together a beautifully balanced selection of essential oils; each one offering unique properties to support skin health in different ways; from soothing irritation and reducing inflammation to encouraging repair; balancing oil production; and offering gentle antimicrobial protection. Together; they form a versatile formula suitable for a wide range of skin needs; from blemishes and dryness to sensitivity and even the signs of ageing.

Tea Tree stands out as the cleansing powerhouse of the blend. Its strong antibacterial and antifungal properties make it an obvious choice for blemish-prone skin or any minor cuts and grazes where keeping the area clean is essential. But tea tree is more than just an antiseptic; it also helps to calm redness and reduce swelling; making it particularly useful for inflamed breakouts or irritated skin conditions like insect bites.

Lavender; gentle yet incredibly versatile; steps in as a skin-soother and all-round healer. Known for its calming and anti-inflammatory properties; lavender helps to reduce redness; calm irritation; and speed up the healing of minor burns; scrapes; and blemishes. It’s also helpful in balancing both dry and oily skin types; making it a reliable all-purpose support for skin that fluctuates between extremes.

Chamomile; especially the German variety; brings its famously calming touch. It’s a go-to for sensitive or reactive skin; offering powerful anti-inflammatory action that can soothe everything from eczema and rosacea to sunburn and allergic flare-ups. Chamomile also supports skin repair; making it helpful for healing damaged or stressed skin.

Yarrow adds an earthy; herbal depth to the blend; but its benefits go far beyond its aroma. Yarrow is known for its ability to support skin regeneration; helping to repair damaged tissues and reduce the appearance of scars. It also offers gentle antimicrobial protection and can help calm irritated; inflamed skin; making it useful for both chronic conditions like dermatitis and acute issues like cuts or rashes.

Geranium brings balance; both to the skin itself and to the overall formula. It’s often recommended for combination skin because it helps to regulate sebum production; ensuring skin doesn’t swing too far toward dryness or oiliness. Geranium also supports circulation; which can give the skin a brighter; healthier appearance; and it offers a touch of gentle antimicrobial support that pairs beautifully with tea tree’s stronger action.

Carrot Seed rounds out the formula with its regenerative and nourishing properties. Rich in antioxidants; it’s especially helpful for mature skin; supporting cell renewal and protecting against environmental stress. Carrot seed also has a unique affinity for dry; weathered; or sun-damaged skin; helping to restore softness and elasticity over time.

Together; these oils create a well-rounded skin formula that can be adapted for all kinds of needs; whether you’re looking to calm a breakout; soothe sensitive skin; support healing after minor injuries; or simply nourish and protect your skin on a daily basis. It can be blended into a facial oil; added to a soothing balm; incorporated into a cleansing oil; or even mixed into a calming toner for daily use.

Natural Beard Dye Formula

Greetings,

If you enjoy slapping plant products on your facial hair for long periods of time, with the eventual result that you smell vaguely of soy sauce and yet somehow look 20 years younger, please read on.

For many years, I used a brand of natural beard dye which I shall not name because I don't want to give them the publicity. They were great, and very effective in gently producing a natural look which did not scorch my skin. However, they were very cagey about the herbal ingredients to their product, and when they hit on supply problems I became tragically stuck, with wait times of > 2months to get an (often overpriced) order. Anyway, after a while I got tired of being taken the piss out of and decided to do my own research and make my own natural beard dye. Turns out it wasn't so difficult to discover the mystical herbs, and get a bulk supply of each. The saving was terrific, and the result reliable. Below is the process, including ingredients required.

Base
2 parts Amla
1 part False Daisy
1 part Neem powder
12 parts Henna
4 parts Indigo

Use the base initially for 20-30 min, and reapply if necessary for stubborn grey hairs.

Main Dye
2 parts Amla
1 part False Daisy
1 part Neem powder
8 parts Henna
8 parts Indigo

The main dye (45-60 min) Apply as a follow-up to the Base formula. Can reapply or increase the proportion of Indigo for a darker colour.

Alternatively, you can mix the Amla, False Daisy and Neem powders and make up a large jar of this. Every time you want to mix up Base or Main dye, just add 1 Tbsp of the Amla/ False Daisy/ Neem mix to 4 Tbsp of Henna/ Indigo, in whatever proportion required.

When it comes to crafting a natural beard dye using herbs, each ingredient brings something special to the table; not just for colour, but for the health and condition of the beard itself.

Amla, known more formally as Indian Gooseberry, plays an important supporting role in the mix. It doesn’t dye hair directly, but it helps the other herbs; especially henna and indigo; bind more effectively to the hair. Amla also has the handy effect of slightly cooling and darkening the resulting colour, softening henna’s tendency toward bright copper tones. With its richness in Vitamin C and antioxidants, amla doesn’t just enhance the dye, it also strengthens the hair and improves overall beard health. In the blend, amla typically makes up about ten to twenty percent of the total, enough to boost performance without overpowering the dye itself.

Then there’s False Daisy, known in Ayurvedic circles as Bhringraj. This is another herb traditionally associated with darkening hair and keeping greys at bay. It’s valued not only for the colour support it offers but also for its ability to nourish the actual hair shaft, leaving the beard softer, stronger, and with a natural shine. In a well-balanced formula, False Daisy would make up somewhere between five and fifteen percent of the blend.

Neem powder is often included too, not so much for its colouring ability but for what it does for the skin beneath the beard. Its antibacterial and anti-fungal properties help keep the skin calm and healthy; useful if the wearer is prone to irritation or beard dandruff. It can even help the dye absorb more evenly. That said, neem is powerful stuff, so a little goes a long way; five to ten percent is usually plenty.

The two stars of the show are, of course, henna and indigo. Henna is the foundation of the dye, providing rich reddish tones that cling tenaciously to the hair. It’s a fantastic conditioner too, adding body and softness as it works. Depending on the final shade desired, henna might make up anywhere from thirty to forty percent of the blend; more if you want a warm auburn result, less if you’re after darker tones.

Indigo, by contrast, is all about the blues and blacks. It doesn’t work well on its own, but layered over a henna base, it deepens the colour into darker browns and, if used generously, full black. For a typical dark beard dye, indigo would also hover around thirty to forty percent of the blend, paired closely with henna.

A balanced formula for a dark brown or black beard might end up looking something like thirty-five percent henna, thirty-five percent indigo, fifteen percent amla, ten percent False Daisy, and five percent neem. This gives a blend that not only covers greys and colours the beard, but actively cares for it too.

It’s worth noting that the actual process of application is just as important as the blend itself. In many cases, the best results come from applying henna first, rinsing, and then following with indigo. This two-step process locks in the colour more effectively, particularly if you’re aiming to cover grey hairs. Amla, with its cooling effect, can also be mixed directly into the henna paste to tone down any unwanted brightness.

Together, these herbs create a beard dye that doesn’t just stain the hair but nurtures it, leaving it strong, healthy, and naturally coloured. If you want, I can also walk you through the exact mixing process, including tips on what liquids to use (like tea, coffee, or lemon juice) to get the best result for your particular shade.

Pizza Physics

I had reservations about writing a pizza blog. I mean, you make a base, you dress it, then you put it in the oven and ta-daaaar. But a degree of Wissenschaft comes into play when things get multi-storey. I make these magnificent architectural creations in three phases: 

1. Make the base and add the tomato sauce with some of the juiciest/ moist ingredients (like pineapple, tomatoes, sweetcorn, prawns, etc). This will warm up the pizza and allow excess water to escape by evaporation so it doesn't lead to an icky puddle leaking out like an old lady's piss pants at the end. If you just plopped everything on all at once, the lower and most central components might not heat up in time whilst the external part of the pizza will be burned. 10-15 minutes should do it, depending on your heat setting and the location of your pizza in the oven.

2. Meanwhile roast the toughest and most fibrous vegetables (like broccoli, peppers, onion, mushrooms etc) and let them break down and get some time to cook in the oven before you add them to your heated base. 20-30 minutes should do it. Additionally, adding roasted vegetables allows thorough cooking, and improves their flavour. 

3. Finally, after heating together the ingredients from step 1 and 2 above (not so they burn, but enough to get them steaming and wilting down) add the final layer of ingredients that usually don't take so long to cook (e.g. pepperoni, salami, feta, mozzarella, cheddar, anchovies, red kidney beans, etc). That way everything should come to fruition at just the right time. And the right place. 

I'm not here to tell you what to put on your pizza, or for how long. It's a goddam democracy and you can do what you like. But I can tell you a judicious amount of pre-cooking is a rewarding endeavour when you are contemplating an ascent to your own personal Eiger of pizza achievement. Good luck and may the Pizza Gods (who were Roman obviously) go with you. 

Dr. Feelgood's Christmas Nut Roast

There is nothing more romantic than spending your first Christmas together as a couple. And there is nothing more romantic than making a vegetarian nut roast for your ehefrau. Things go a bit yumpy though when you put on a Dr. Feelgood album whilst you're cooking and realise that after 2 hours on loop, he has invited himself for Christmas dinner! This blog discusses the tribulations of making a complex nut roast on Christmas day, and how the redemptive power of blues-rock can overcome any culinary vexation.

Dr. Feelgood are a British pub rock band formed in 1971 on Canvey Island, Essex. Known for their raw, high-energy blend of rock and rhythm and blues, they stood out with a no-frills, working-class attitude. The classic lineup featured Lee Brilleaux’s powerful vocals and Wilko Johnson’s sharp, choppy guitar, creating their signature sound. Early albums like Down by the Jetty (1975) and Malpractice (1975) captured their live intensity, while their 1976 live album Stupidity reached number one in the UK. Pioneers of pub rock, Dr. Feelgood helped pave the way for punk with their stripped-back approach. Despite lineup changes and Brilleaux’s early death in 1994, the band continues to perform, keeping their legacy alive.

So what's the connection between Dr. Feelgood and nut roast? Well, practically none at all! The quirky, tenuous relationship comes down to the cultural and countercultural waves from which they originated. Dr. Feelgood's gritty, no-frills blues-rock, came out of the 1970s UK music scene, embodying a raw, working-class energy. Meanwhile, nut roast, equally gritty the way I make it, became a staple in the growing vegetarian movement of the same era, fuelled by environmental awareness, ethical eating, and countercultural rejection of industrial meat production. Both are, in their own ways, symbols of rebellion against the mainstream; Dr. Feelgood shaking up overproduced rock with their stripped-down sound, and nut roast offering a hearty, meat-free alternative to the traditional British roast dinner. They reflect two sides of the same cultural coin: music and food as expressions of identity, resistance, and reinvention in 1970s Britain. Ok?

This is Dr. Feelgood circa 1978, waiting for Belfast's first (and only) all-day nut roast diner to open so they could plot the overthrow of imperialist society by breaking the stranglehold of the meat industry on agriculture. 

I will now attend to my own personal act of rebellion by admitting I sought a vegan recipe on the BBC Good Food website, and after cooking the nut roast, watching it crumble in front of my very eyes, decided from that day forward to include an egg for binding and in future to extol the virtues of eating vegetarian, rather than vegan, nut roast. Screw you BBC for your deception. Below is the modified recipe which includes an egg. If you want to fight and die on the hill of veganism, then I recommend you omit the egg and bring a straw to your Christmas dinner party because that's the only way you'll manage to eat it.

Ingredients

1 onion, finely chopped
2 celery stalks, finely diced
1 leek (about 100g/3½oz trimmed weight), thinly sliced
2 carrots, coarsely grated (approximately 150g/5½oz)
2 garlic cloves, minced
300g/10½oz mixed nuts such as walnuts, hazelnuts, almonds, Brazil nuts or pecans
180g/6oz cooked chestnuts, roughly chopped
75g/2½oz dried cranberries
4 tablespoons cashew butter
1 vegan vegetable stock cube
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil, plus extra for greasing
4 tablespoons plant-based milk such as almond or soya
finely grated zest of 1 lemon
20g/¾oz fresh parsley, finely chopped
1 teaspoon sea salt
freshly ground black pepper

Method

Firstly, you will need to cook the chestnuts. Roasting (the oven method) gives them that rich, toasty flavour and slightly crisp shell.

• Soak the chestnuts for 15-30 minutes before roasting.
• Preheat oven to 200°C (400°F).
• Score the shells: Use a sharp knife to cut a small cross or slit on the flat side of each chestnut. This is crucial — it lets steam escape and stops them from exploding.
• Arrange on a baking tray: Place them cut-side up.
• Roast for 20-25 minutes until the shells peel back and the flesh is tender.
• Cradle the roasted nuts in a tea towel for 10 minutes to allow them to steam/ cool
• Peel while warm, as they’re easier to work with when hot.
• Chestnuts are much easier to peel when they’re still warm, so work quickly — and if they cool down too much, you can pop them back into warm water or the oven to loosen the skins again.

Place the mixed nuts and stock cube into a food processor and pulse until the nuts are finely chopped — you want small, even pieces rather than a fine powder. If you don’t have a food processor, you can chop the nuts by hand, aiming for a similar fine consistency.

Preheat the oven to 200C/180C Fan/Gas 6. Grease a 900g/2lb loaf tin with a little olive oil, then line the base with baking paper to help the loaf release easily after baking.

Heat the olive oil in a large frying pan over medium heat. Add the chopped onion, celery, leek, and grated carrot. Cook gently for around 15-20 minutes, stirring regularly, until the vegetables are softened and reduced somewhat. Stir in the garlic and cook for another 30 seconds.

Transfer the cooked vegetables to a large mixing bowl. Add the chopped nuts, chestnuts, cranberries, parsley, lemon zest, plant milk, and salt. Grind in plenty of black pepper. Mix thoroughly and set briefly to one side.

In a separate bowl, stir in the cashew butter (I used peanut butter), almond milk and vegetable stock, as well as the morally troublesome whisked egg, ensuring the ingredients are fully incorporated and adopts a fine paste. This will help the loaf hold together nicely when sliced.

Now mix the paste and vegetables/ nuts from the large mixing bowl, until everything is evenly coated.

Spoon the mixture into the prepared tin, pressing it down firmly with the back of a spoon to compact it well. Cover with foil and bake for 30 minutes.

After 30 minutes, remove the foil and bake for another 20 minutes, or until the top is lightly golden and the loaf is heated through.

Once baked, remove the tin from the oven and leave it to rest for 5 minutes. Run a knife around the edges to loosen, then carefully turn the loaf out onto a serving board or platter. Slice into thick portions and serve warm with vegan gravy or your favourite sides.

Garlic, Honey and Herb Yoghurt Sauce

 

Serves: 4-6

Time: 10 minutes

Ingredients:

• 1 cup Yoghurt (preferably Greek yoghurt for thickness)
• 1-2 cloves Garlic (minced or grated)
• 1 Tbsp Honey
• 2 Tbsp Fresh Mint (chopped)
• 2 Tbsp Fresh Parsley (chopped)
• 1 Tbsp Olive Oil
• Salt & Ground Black Pepper (to taste)

Instructions:

Step 1: Prepare the Ingredients

1. Mince or grate the garlic finely.
2. Chop the mint and parsley into small pieces.

Step 2: Mix the Sauce

1. In a medium bowl, combine the yoghurt, minced garlic, honey, and olive oil.
2. Stir in the chopped mint and parsley.
3. Season with salt and black pepper to taste.
4. Mix everything until smooth and well combined.

Step 3: Chill (Optional)

• For a deeper flavour, refrigerate the sauce for about 30 minutes before serving. This will allow the herbs and garlic to infuse into the yoghurt.

Step 4: Serve

• Serve as a refreshing side or dip. It pairs wonderfully with grilled meats, roasted vegetables, pita bread, or as a topping for wraps.

This Garlic, Honey, and Herb Yoghurt Sauce is creamy, slightly tangy, and has a perfect balance of sweet and savoury!

Feta & Ricotta Puff Pastry Rolls with Spinach

I made this as a vegetarian evening meal for Valentine's Day. It turned out really well, and we made a few variations on the theme throughout the week. Since it serves 6 it will last for a couple of days, and can be added to with sides like broccoli, green beans, carrots (if not using them directly in the filling). I also include a recipe for a Garlic, Honey and Herb Yoghurt Sauce in the next blog, which goes well with the Puff Pastry, and makes a good opportunity to use up the remainder of your bunch of parsley. 

Serves: 6

Time: Approx. 1 hour

Ingredients:

• 4 Puff Pastry Sheets (thawed if frozen)
• 2 cups Frozen Spinach (thawed & drained)
• ½ cup Broccoli florets (optional)
• Chickpeas (1 tin)
• 2 Tbsp Pine nuts
• 1 grated carrot
• ½ Onion (finely chopped)
• 1-2 cloves Garlic (minced)
• 1 Tbsp Olive Oil
• 2 Tbsp Fresh Parsley
• 1 cup Ricotta Cheese
• 1 cup Feta Cheese, crumbled
• Salt & Ground Black Pepper (to taste)
• 1 Egg (for egg wash)
• 1 tsp Water

Instructions:

Step 1: Prepare the Filling

1. Heat olive oil in a pan over medium heat.
2. Add chopped onion and minced garlic, and sauté until soft and translucent (about 3-4 minutes).
3. Add thawed & drained spinach, chickpeas, broccoli, carrots and pine nuts to the pan. Stir and cook for another 2-3 minutes until excess moisture evaporates.
4. Remove from heat and let it cool slightly.
5. After removing the pan from heat and letting it cool slightly, fold in the chopped parsley into the filling mixture of spinach, ricotta cheese, and feta. This will ensure the parsley maintains its fresh flavour and colour.
6. In a large bowl, combine the spinach mixture, ricotta cheese, and crumbled feta.
7. Season with salt and black pepper to taste. Mix well.

Step 2: Assemble the Rolls

1. Preheat your oven to 375°F (190°C).
2. Roll out each puff pastry sheet on a lightly floured surface. If the sheets are too thick, gently roll them to about ⅛ inch thick.
3. Divide the spinach and cheese filling evenly among the pastry sheets, spreading it in a line along one edge of each sheet.
4. Roll up the pastry sheets tightly, forming long logs. Place the seam side down.
5. Cut each log into smaller rolls (about 2 inches wide).

Step 3: Egg Wash

1. In a small bowl, whisk together the egg and 1 tsp water to make an egg wash.
2. Brush the tops of each roll with the egg wash for a golden, shiny finish.

Step 4: Bake

1. Arrange the rolls on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.
2. Bake in the preheated oven for 20-25 minutes or until the pastry is golden brown and crispy.

Step 5: Serve

• Let the rolls cool slightly and serve warm.
• Perfect as an appetizer, snack, or side dish!

Paleomoussaka!

Say it! As all one word. It's so invigorating, you can really shout it. Shout it at random people in the street. Wait for friends and relatives to walk by and jump out of a murky recess, shouting PALEOMOUSSAKA with gusto like a maniacal murderer. It truly is good for the soul. 

This recipe, as the battlecry suggests, is a paleo modification of the Greek dish moussaka. That is to say, flour has been eliminated from the top layer part of the recipe, leaving only whole yummy goodness. Many paleo enthusiasts may take issue with the use of cheese, but I tolerate it quite well so have incorporated it. If you wanted to dispense with the cheese, you could go for a mushroom sauce type of thing, maybe using besan or chickpea flour to give it body. Consider my words of wisdom on this matter, and then create!

In essence, moussaka is a lasagne but using aubergine instead of lasagne sheets, so its already primed to be a paleo meal apart from the topping. Modify that, then bingo you've got Paleomoussaka.

  

A word on the ingredients. Obviously the fresher and more home-grown the ingredients are, the better. I think the key ingredient to prove that point is the tomatoes. If you have a bunch of luscious ripe, sweet tomatoes straight off the vine then you can see how that is very much superior to some anonymous,  industrially produced floor scrapings from a tin, but if that's all you've got then needs must. If you are asked by a dinner guest on the origin of your tomatoes just switch their attention to the sensual precociousness of your aubergines and that should hopefully spare your blushes. Or maybe contribute to them, depending on which way you swing. You will see that in place of 1 onion (yellow, red, both fine) in this recipe there are three good sized spring onions, but again it depends what is lurking in your garden. And finally, selection of a good cheese is essential if you are going to blag a moussaka topping by avoiding flour. High quality cheese and parmesan can prove a nutrient dense diversion from what's not there. Some people use potatoes in moussaka, but it's not a paleo option, so it's not in this recipe. 

Speaking of ingredient quality, both sweet marjoram and spearmint were doing well in my garden at the time (July), so I cut them fresh in the proportions of Marjoram 2:1 Spearmint and chopped them both up very fine together. Being quite aromatic (I used mostly leaf but also a little flower of both) few other fresh ingredients were needed. 

Now if I said just treat the whole bloody thing like you were making a lasagne you couldn't go far wrong from here, but below is the recipe, which I suppose is what you're here for: 

Ingredients

1. Moussaka component:

• 5 Tbsp olive oil
• 3 large spring onions, finely chopped
• 3 cloves garlic
• 500g minced lamb
• 8 medium mushrooms, finely chopped
• 8 large fresh tomatoes, finely chopped (+ tomato puree to thicken up if required)
• 2 Tbsp dry white wine
• 1/4 tsp cinnamon powder
• 1 tsp cumin powder
• 1 tsp ground coriander powder
• 2 Tbsp fresh sweet marjoram & spearmint in ratio of 2:1
• 2 medium-large aubergines sliced thinly
• Salt and pepper to taste

2. Top layer

• Dolmio Lasagne sauce (Creamy, family-sized version or similar) 
• Large handful of strong cheddar cheese

3. Garnish

• 2 Tbsp chopped parsley
• Parmesan cheese & pepper to taste

On the subject of the Dolmio. Yes, its a short cut compared to making a cheese sauce from scratch but if you choose a lasagne sauce that does not contain flour or gluten and you can tolerate lactose/ dairy, then you're winning. There is a modicum of glucose syrup in this sauce, which I object to, but total carbs in this product is 3% so the levels are bearable and conform to requirements of a keto diet. 

Method

• Preheat oven to 180°C. 
• Heat half of the olive oil in a large casserole dish over a moderate heat. 
• Saute the onion and garlic until they brown.
• Add lamb mince and mushrooms and increase the heat. 
• Cook through for 5 minutes, then add the wine, chopped tomatoes, and spices. 
• Reduce to a simmer and cook gently for 30 minutes.
• Meanwhile, heat the rest of the olive oil in batches in a frying pan set over a high heat until very hot. Fry the aubergine slices quickly until lightly golden on both sides. 
• Once coloured, layer the slices in a shallow, heatproof 2.5 litre baking dish. 
• Season between the aubergine layers with salt and pepper and set to one side.
• Add the Dolmio to a separate pan and heat through.
• Spoon the lamb sauce over the aubergine layer. 
• Pour the Dolmio topping over the lamb sauce and add the cheese on top.
• Bake for 30 minutes until the top is golden brown and bubbling. 
• Remove from the oven and allow it to sit for 5 minutes. 
• Spoon the moussaka onto serving plates and garnish with parsley, pepper and parmesan as desired. 
• Shout PALEOMOUSSAKA and dive in. 
• Enjoy!

UPDATE Feb 2025

Some wee time ago I made a white cheese sauce for a vegetarian lasagne (or, feg) which turned out pretty good. The recipe is simple enough, given below. I just added a handful of grated cheese. It would be perfectly possible to add chickpea flour (besan) to make a more nutty, less carby, and gluten-free alternative to flour. Enjoy!

• Use 500ml milk warmed up gradually in a pan
• Bit by bit, add 4tbsp butter and 4tbsp flour, stirring constantly between additions to avoid the formation of lumps until the desired thickness is reached.
• Although I can't abide plastic utensils, on this occasion I find a plastic whisk to be best of all. 
• If you want your sauce to be a little thinner, add a little more milk.
• As said, you can add a handful of grated cheese to create a cheese sauce but keep it moving in the pan and don't let it congeal.